It has been too long since my last post. I read many blogs daily and if any of them had allowed a 5 month break between posts, I wouldn’t be happy. So I apologize to my reader (Mom), for being so careless. I partly blame Pinterest.
Typically, I do not discuss any personal matters on this blog. I like to highlight fun internet finds, vintage knick-knacks, and food (because there are no blogs that currently do those things). However, I am allowing myself one gut wrenching, tear jerking, emotionally ridiculous blog post to pay homage to something that comes and goes in everyone’s life… a relationship.
For all of you single, independent, masters-of-your-own-life-cool-kids who have moved on from heartache to being the incredible person you are today, you have my full permission to feel sorry for me and file this away as a cautionary tale. For all of you single (but don’t want to be), 2 steps from the cuckoo’s nest, kindred spirits of mine who find yourself hugging the bath mat sobbing and screaming at your imaginary audience while listening to Adele with snot running down your ex’s t-shirt, I can sympathize.
Adele, thank you so much for choosing to write songs and pump them into the mainstream just when I needed you. I love hearing that song below while shopping for shoes. I have a wonderful morning, feeling slightly back to normal, and then…I hear it….that feeling in my chest starts to weigh more and more by the second, memories flash before my eyes and then tears. Before I know it, I am telling the shoe guy “I hoped you see my face, and that you’d be reminded that for me….” and then I buy $315 dollar boots. I hate Adele.
Breaking up is terrible. Especially when it is with your best friend and partner in crime. I have been both on the giving and receiving end of this terrible ending, neither are fun. However, none of my previous experience prepared me for this one. I am not looking to divulge any juicy details or submit my lost love to ratemyexboyfriend.com (doesn’t exist, yet…), I am only here to help remind each and every one of you how much breaking up sucks, in case your memory fails you. And for what seems like nearly everyone around me who is also going through a recent split, thought I would share a few of these things to help you know, you aren’t the only one who does them.
Fact: Watching 500 Days of Summer while in a relationship is different from watching it after a break up.
A day in the life of recently single female:
6:00 AM – Alarm goes off
7:45 AM – Zombie your way out of bed
8:00 AM – Leave for work, forget to shower
8:20 AM – Get to work, drink 5 hour energy, cry
8:35 AM – Rationalize in your head you have been in the office long enough for a 15 min break
9:00 – 5:00 – Work…
5:30 PM – Go to class (couple crosses street holding hands and you find yourself veering your car in their direction)
6:30 PM – Drive home, listen to the saddest music you could find (seriously, you googled “saddest music”, and found what you are listening to), cry like you are hoping for an Oscar, flip off the family of four staring at you in the next lane
7:00 PM – Get home, eat for the first time today (frozen burrito and 8 shots of tequila)
7:25 PM – Watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind because you read it was #1 break up movie. True.
9:47 PM – Contemplate dying your hair blonde or moving to Vermont
10:15 PM – start online shopping for wedding dresses (while listening to this, because girls are crazy), and craigslisting apartments in Vermont
11:12 PM – text your ex-boyfriend that you have just had the most miraculously productive day and you may be moving to Vermont
11:59 PM – Pass out
6:00 AM – Repeat, change movie
Ladies and Gentleman, Adele.
Relationships. We have them, we love them, we end them. We become independent and incredible human beings just long enough to forget these things, then do it again.
(breathe in———-breath out)
I may sound like a sad sack, and a little nutty, but I am over it. Moved on to greener pastures. I got cable and a Schwans man . I’m good.
What are we going to do!?
Do it again.
Delete this post the second you meet someone.
Buy a Kindle and this while you can still classify it as retail therapy.
Wash your hair.
Fact: Time is your best friend.